Coming soon.................Oh yes, yes I will be.......

Yes, you heard that right. Want to know the reason for my excitement?

Looky here at this hunky piece of "I want his arse, RIGHT NOW!":

Yep, Johnny Vaughn. He of the fantabulous but greatly missed Big Breakfast Show, is fronting a TV show here, hitting our screens in the Fall. Yep here, in the land that I live and love. I don't think I can wait that long. I'll be washing a lot of knickers till then believe me.......

In other news. MUSIC. As you know, I am very receptive to hearing different styles of music. I can listen to almost anything! ALMOST! My fellow bloggers have been known to share with me their selections, and although McFly takes a bit of getting used to, I am starting to like them. Ms Mac introduced me to the very hot, sexy sound of this guy:

Alex Lloyd

As I mentioned in my previous post, my lovely pink iPod, has a variety of music. But I am starting to add some other stuff. I heard the very delightful Anna Nalick singing Breath and got that immediately. I also heard Natasha Bedingfield sing 'These Words' for the first time the other day (I know, I'm probably so behind the times it is ridiculous) so have that now. There is a bit of Rod Stewart in there too, my current fave being "reason to Believe". I heard John Hiatt the other day. His song 'Feels Like Rain' is THE PERFECT SONG to make out to. Listen and tell me otherwise. (Stella, you hearing that?! for you and some Mr Mac time.......)

Some guys at work are going to a Motley Crue concert shortly and have a spare ticket. I'm trying to listen to their songs and if I like them, then I may get that ticket! I heard Girls Girls Girls just now and kinda liked that.

But then, next to Motley Crue, I have Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds singing "Sneakin' Around" from one of my fave films:

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Does this make me odd? I just like different music and I'm open to all kinds, well, I'll give thema go. Some, I just can't get into. Name a song that you like, and I'll listen and tell you what I think!

My Kids. Yep, they are back tomorrow night. My time of peace, tranquility, tidy house, TV shows that I want to watch, no whining, arguing and shouting is over. But I have missed them. ALOT.

Counting down the days.

18 days - till Claire Bear gets here.
20 days - till Switzerland to see these wonderful people.

30 days - till school gets in.
49 days - till Las Vegas.
87 days till my birthday.

I won't even get into Christmas..........

The Quiet After the Storm

Well, now that I've calmed down a bit from yesterday, lets see where we are at!

I just got back from dropping G off at the airport, see, here he is waving to you all!

But, oh no! What is this?

This wouldn't happen to be his new lovely manly-blue iPod that he has spent the past few days uploading songs for his trip, still on the table top would it?

Oh, yes it appears so.

We got to about here:

when I realised. Too far to turn back to go get it.

Thats when I remembered that I had mine in my bag, and I asked (OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART!) whether he would like to take mine?

"But it's girly pink" was his reply.

As I started to put my bag back down, he huffed and puffed and agreed that a pink iPod was better than NO iPod.

Here, you see we are charging it up on his radio/iPod transmitter thingy !:

However, I feel that he will be mightily disappointed. For when he begins to search for tunes, he has to plough through a bunch of McFly, Love Songs through the 80's and 90's, some Wham, a bit of Windsor Davies and Don Estelle, and some George Formby till he gets to the good stuff, even though I think the former IS the good stuff - but there is no pleasing some people!

As we got to here:

Dead Mans Curve, I had a smug grin, as I can imagine him starting to sing to some of the 'good' stuff at the airport and not paying attention, and being accosted by either a bunch of 12 year old McFly fans who think he is a roadie for them, or a bunch of Ukelele wielding grannies who think he is a long lost son of the Great George himself.

But we'll see.

On another note, can anyone please tell me, by looking at this picture I took of one of my fridge magnets, what this big gay looking dinosaur is doing to the other one?

Click to make it er.... bigger! (fnar fnar!)

Answers on a postcard please to:............

(I know it's blurry but even the camera was blushing at having to take such a picture!)

Hhhhmmmmmm, S is going to see the kids. He called me this morning and it was so odd hearing his voice after so many years. He apologised a million times, got upset, asked me what to do (and I told him, "You got yourself into this mess......"), said he would like to keep in touch with the kids etc., I basically told him that he had to sit down with the kids and had a lot of explaining to do and then it would be up to them whether they want to keep in touch. (Bear in mind, I have been honest with the kids so I'd like to hear HIS version of why he never paid child support or visited them - but hey, thats by the by) My daughter is just excited because now she has a step-sister. But anyway, thats enough of that! This isn't a 'mommie slags off all men' blog so on to other things.

I colored my hair again! Here, you see the before and after colors. I've gone darker.

I have no idea why I'm so glum!

So thats about it so far. My house is even quieter now. I am going to get some wine I think then just chill out. If you know where I live, feel free to pop round!

Back at ya tomorrow!

What I have been doing while my kids have been gone, by Andrea Knapp aged 35 and a smidge.

Day 1 - Sunday

Had the TV turned off, started Harry Potter, listened to the silence, appreciated the silence then did a boat load of this:

Day 2 - Monday

Finished Harry Potter. Did a boat load of this:

Day 3 - Tuesday

Read Blogs, did my husband, shopped, watched Pirates of the Caribbean AGAIN. Also did a boat load of this:

Day 3 - Wednesday

Chatted with friends, shopped, watched two DVDs and did more of this:

The dog ate the rest of my homework.

Sorry.

I know you'll think I'm crazy, but.......

I am thinking that this guy, as Captain Barbosa, is without a doubt, a hottie of the hottest kind. I would SOOOOO do him.

And then, to make it even worse, what about this hottie!?

Without zooming in, who do you think it is? You will never guess. If you know, don't tell the others.......

Answers will appear later in my comments.

But aside from that, I don't care if you think I'm crazy. If I fancy old men or younger men, then just leave me to it.

But seriously, you will never guess who it is.

I sooooo want one of these, and this too, oh, and this.....

I am loving all this peace and quiet with the kids gone, it is just lovely.

The kids being away means:

• No phone ringing 8 million times a day
• no fighting
• arguing
• sulking
• whining
• mess etc.,

It also means that when I go grocery shopping, I have to bring it in myself! I loathe this job more than anything, and truly did miss my kids for that 5 minute time frame of dragging in the bags. But it passed!

Anyway, while they are away, I am catching up on all sorts of stuff. Blogging for one. Reading all your blogs and I realised I have so missed you all! You should be seeing comments any day now! Especially you Ruksak! I feel like I haven't read you in forEVER!!!!!

Another thing I did was update my profile - though there really wasn't too much to add! I did see however, that there is now a whishlist section!

I know you all won't buy me stuff but if you want to look at the fabulous items I added, check it out here. I'm always one to look for a bargain!

But looking at the list, I found this rather extraordinary item.

I have no idea what it is, but it looks like some kind of arse shaper/tightener. I mean, it has lycra in so it must re-shape something! It also looks kind of like something it shouldn't (draw your own conclusions) but it's expensive so it must work whatever it is and I want one! So anyone out there with a bit of dosh who wants to see my arse all re-shaped and tight, there is your answer! I guess I could do one of those donate with Paypal thingies.... coz I do have PayPal!

Some items I can scratch of my list are:



From Stella - I believe I won them in a competition! They are just like Maltesers and I LOVE Maltesers! Cheers ma dear!

From Nicole - for winning another competition! You can't go wrong with Flakes (I shared them with my mum and we were just going around the house singing the Flake song "only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate, tastes like chocolate never tasted before......" and imitated going under a waterfall in a canoe.......)

Oh and Canadian Smarties eh? Brilliant!

A top similar to this from my cousin Claire Bear (who is graciously looking after my kids while I me and G go visit the Macs for a week)

So all in all, not bad eh? There is nothing nicer than getting stuff in the mail!

So thats about it so far my peeps. I'm almost finished with the new Harry Potter book and will not be checking in to my blog till I've done, for fear someone will comment and say "Oh, so and so dies...." I'm hoping it isn't a Weasley - child or parent and I'm kind of thinking Snape, but I shall know in an hour or so.....

But it is good to be back and I shall be back to my regular daily blogging shortly.

Cheerio.

And then there were 2.......... (for the time being)!!!

Can you hear that?

*sounds of silence*

*visions of tumbleweeds*

Lovely isn't it?

Yep. My mum just left (not that I'm celebrating that as I'm not!) but she left and she took my kids back to the UK with her for a week.

Here is the last pic I took, just so I remember what they looked like. I'm pretty much a useless mother who would pick up foreign kids dressed as Arabs from the airport if they looked like they recognised me! Really. I would!

But let me tell you this. It wasn't without the usual stress that comes with anything that I have planned! Oh no!

To begin this story, you need a smidgeon of background info.

As you know, my eldest, Nick - the one on the right up there, works at McDonalds. (please don't hold that against me!). Well, he doesn't have state ID yet, so whenever he goes to cash his paycheck, he has to use his passport for ID.

Can anyone guess where this story is heading?

Well, he had taken his passport some time ago, unbeknownst to me.

I say unbeknownst, because HAD I known, I most certainly would NOT have washed his jeans with the passport in the back pocket.

The passport that he had only just got one month before!

Yep.

Washed.

Now this was a couple of months ago, and when I looked at his passport, everything was in place. His picture, the passport details. Everything. The only thing different was that it looked like it had been washed, and the blue jacket had sort of separated from the actual pages. But aside from that, it looked like a well used, worn passport.

Now, bringing you up to date. I booked my mums tickets and theirs, with the intention of the kids returning with my mum, and George going over to pick them up next Thursday returning on Monday. I've had enough of England - sorry UK folks! The kids were so excited you can't even guess. They haven't been back there for almost 6 years and they of course look different and were just going to have fun.

So, bear in mind they were flying today, of course it did not enter my tiny mind that Nick would have any trouble with his passport.

Then on Thursday, I thought to myself "Hhhhmmmm, perhaps I should check with the passport office JUST to make doubly sure he will be fine".

*Uh errrrrr (sound of a "wrong answer" buzzer going off there)*

Yep. I was told it was a big NO NO. They did tell me that I could make an appointment at either the Philadelphia Passport office or the Chicago office to get a passport replaced the same day. See below why this was not an option.

Mentor to Chicago

Yep. That trip alone was 360+ miles. Never mind that the automated voice-mail thingy said I couldn't have an appointment for another week. Too late for Nick!

So of course I had the accepted Nervous Breakdown.

Folks, you have simply no idea what kind of mess I was in. Crying, shaking, puking, the full mashings. Then I thought, "God, if I'm like this, what is Nick going to be like?" Nick who has been looking forward to this trip for over 6 years!

So, eventually G tried to calm me down. (Eventually I said! Took him a while!) Basically, he said we should just try our best, see if they let him go through, and if not we would just change his ticket for three weeks time by when we would have a replacement passport. Either way, Nick would get to the UK.

So I figured "OK, there really wasn't anything else I could do"

A bottle and a half of wine later, Nick came home and I told him the bad news.

"OK" he said.

Huh? Just OK? I RE-explained to him 4 times as I thought he simply is NOT understanding what I am saying to him!

But he did. AND he was fine with it! I could have hugged him a million times.

So this morning, they were arguing with each other, packing, re-packing, remembering what they had forgotten to pack, trying to get me to do laundry 5 minutes before they left, all the usual stuff.

We set off for the airport. My stomach churning.

And they let him through! He got through the first bit. I hugged them, told them to behave for their Nanna and to take lots of pictures (they either will forget they have cameras or take lots of crappy out of focus, blurry, dark pictures of nothing.)

So now we have to wait and see.

I'm waiting for a phone call at about 7:45 pm from Newark airport saying they are sending him back to Cleveland, or a phone call at something to 2 AM from the UK saying they won't let him in and are sending him back. If not, then he will have a good trip.

By the time they are returning, G will be there with them so if there are any problems, he can sort that out.

But in the meantime?

Silence is golden. My house is tidy. Things are put away. No sulking. No whining. Just silence.

I may even start to prance around naked if we don't get the phone calls. How is THAT for a child-free house?

***********UPDATE***************

7:37 pm and George asks "Shouldn't they be boarding right about ..........." ring ring......... ring ring.........

(it was just one of Dan's friends asking if he was home..... phew.)

It is now 7:50 pm and we are assuming that they left Newark OK. Fingers crossed for the rest of the journey!

My thoughts at 5:12 am

Why is the air conditioning unit so god-damned loud?

Why am I so cold?

Why does G snore like he is about to take his last breath?

Is it raining?

Why didn't the boys bring the cats in before they went to bed?

Will I ever blog again?

My carpet needs cleaning.

That lightening is spectacular.

How many days till we go visit the Macs?

I need to go back to bed.

I miss my grandparents.

I love my camera.

and my cheap new dress I bought.

Morgan Spurlock is hot.

So is Gary Cole.

and Billy Bob.

Scotty is dead.

I *heart* Jon.

I have great friends. (smiling)

My feet are cold.

This is something different for you - A Guest Post........

Hi to all Andi's Blogger Buddies from her Mum....

It is so nice to hear from you all on Andrea's blog site, and to read the nice things you say even though you don't know me, apart from what Andi has said.

There is so much I want to say about seeing Andi and George and my grandkids that it would take up days and days, so it is easier to say a huge thank you for flying me over to Mentor and that I love you all so very much.

The flights over were interesting! I went to the wrong terminal, walked for half an hour, luggage in tow, sat on the plane for 45 minutes before we took off and landed in Newark an hour or so late. THEN.... US customs loomed up in front of me, I stood in line for nearly an hour!!

An hour I tell you!

The flight was delayed, and instead of landing in Cleveland at 8.20pm I landed at 11.50pm!! All good fun, but it was worth it just to see everyone.

Andi's new house is absolutely lovely. The kids bedrooms actually stayed tidy for a couple of hours. (Apparently they had been tidied especially for me!!) Haven't we all been there?

We have been to the cinema a few times and one of the films was a kids movie in 3D (quite different for me). Here I am wearing my fabulous 3-D glasses!

We also saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Is Johnny Depp hot or what? It is ages since I have fancied any stars or celebrities (I am usually associated with Sean Connery) . This is where Kim is in tune with Johhny Depp - apparently neither of them can understand a word we are saying!! Here I am pushing him out of bed...... (NOT!)

One of Andi's blogger buddies is the lovely Kim. We (me, Andi, George, Georgia, Alex and Owen) went over to Kims for a drink or two and a couple of their other friends also came along with their kids. Geoff, Kims husband cooked a BBQ, the kids went in the pool, and later on Kim and a couple of others also had a dip. Apparently I embarrased Andrea by using an 'obscene' word - the 'P' word!!! I hasten to add here that the word means totally something different in England, but Andi put her hands over her ears and sang 'la la la la' to block me out. Kim was 'entertaining' me by making jewellery out of lighting bugs - YUK!! We had a great evening and Kim is positively the nicest person, thank you again for a great night.

We have done a lot of shopping and browsing and I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute.

One night, we got a couple of bottles of wine - just for a drink or two - like you do, and before we know what is happening, 3 glasses of wine later we are both drunk as skunks, pissed as newts, whatever - WE WERE DRUNK! A Good time was had!

Talking about skunks - how many of you have actually smelled a dead skunk??

I havent smelled anything as gross in my life. We were driving along the motorway, no skunks in sight, and I said 'WHAT IS THAT'? Andrea calmly said 'oh it is just a skunk, horrible isn't it'. Horrible? the skunk had been run over miles further down the road and we could still eat the wonderful scent! Stella; Just you wait. She has a sealed bottle all ready for you for when she is Zurich bound!

I have also had a special treat - I met the Mayor of Mentor on the Lake! Andi took me to her work to meet her colleagues and the Mayor was there. (You know Andrea, hob-nobbing with the rich and famous! - well, he was neither but for this story he was loaded with looks and money!)

Jon, how are you? I read your blog and also hear ALL about your from Andi - I *heart* you too!! and would of course HEART being your "I *heart* of the week!

Thats all for just now folks. I still have another week left and I am sure it will be as good and as interesting as my first week. You never know there might just be a 'guest blog 2'. I love reading all your comments and look forward to hearing from you all soon.

Andi's Mum
XXX

It's Party Time at Kims...............

Kim invited us over to her house for a party - and to also meet my mum who is here for two weeks, and you know me and George, we never turn down an invite!

So with the kids all packed and dressed for a pool party, my mum in the van anxiously waiting to meet Kim and her brood, we set off.

However, the Weather Gods up there, decided that, on perfectly sunny days, where the sun shines and the pool beckons, the next best thing would be to shove in a little rain. Oh and it rained.

And rained.
and then there was some of this stuff too.

So, with upside down smiles, the kids met Kim. And then my mum met Kim. And they got on famously.

Then the weather took pity on us, so with slight thundering in the background (and all sorts of horror stories about people swimming and being hit by lightening) we of course let the kids swim! :)

The wine flowed.

Jeff came home, turned on the BBQ and then it was time to eat. BTW Jeff/Kim, the food was fabulous. You know me, I like a good sausage!

Then Chrissy and Terri turned up and we all sat down and talked and talked about nothing and everything, with Kim having not one clue about what I was saying. (The language barrier widens with alcohol I have deduced!) I was trying to explain that I had just seen a show wherein a woman had complained about the 'C' word being used and the guys were saying "well, what about twat instead?" and she still complained so they said they would use a combination, and call her a "Twunt". For some reason, Kim thought I was talking about corn! Corn! How much alcohol do you think had passed by our lips for Twunt to sound like corn I ask you!?

Then, get this. As we all started talking about words we don't like, my mother - yes MY MOTHER started using the 'P' word. (*whispers* Pussy) My MOTHER!

Here she is pretending that she didn't just say PUSSY out loud!

Here you can see George's ears burning!

Honestly! *tuts and gives disapproving look to my mum*

Then, Kim starts talking about Johnny Depp and you know Kim and Johnny Depp! Looking at this picture, I have deduced that maybe, just maybe, I could be the love child of Johnny and my mum:

The resemblance is there I tell you!

After running out of alcohol - if you can imagine!!!! we took a quick trip to the liqour store and then picked up where we left off, with plenty of this:

and

which of course led to this:

and this

and THIS!

and where there are drunk people, and pools? You get this!

and by this time, we decided it was time to go as we would never leave otherwise!

As you can see, we had a fantastic time, the kids had fun, my mum loved everyone and wants to do it all again!

There you have it folks, if you want a good party? Head over to Kim and Jeffs!

More pics here

The next leg .........

Strude! The Dude!

The elf shorts, you know, these ones:

Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.
Part 4.
Part 5.
Part 6.

Have reached their next destination.

You wanna be a part of Blog history? Check out this picture, make a caption here and you may BE the next winner of the shorts competition.

I mean, you know you wanna. (if not for yourself, enter for Ms Mac........ she needs those shorts)

Wanna be in my gang?

As you know, I live in a quaint little town called Mentor-on-the-Lake. Well, kind of quaint.

However, things appear to be taking a turn for the worse. (Or is it worst? Help me out here folks).

Yep. MOL is becoming Thug Capital USA, with a little help from my number two son.

We have a few juvenile delinquents in our town. Oh and how I hate them. They look scruffy, have no parental guidance whatsoever, walk around thinking they can do what they want and just putting a general:

Two's up to all who oppose them!

These delinquents wear the obligatory 'gang' colors of black t-shirts.

They also have a really cool 'fab gang name'. What is it you ask? ROTNEM's. Yep, a highly intelligent member (and for member, you can think of any kind of member - if you know what I mean) of the ROTNEM's, thought that if they spelt Mentor backwards, no-one would notice! Cool n'est pas?

So, my son, not to be outdone, decided to make fun of this gang by creating his own. Yep. The colors they chose for their fabulous gang? White.

The name of his gang? Well, just an FYI. My son has some odd fixation with the Amish. Yes. These people:

and his gang name? The Yoders. I know!

Now, don't get me wrong people. When I say 'gang' I don't necessarily mean this type of gang:

No. They are more like this:

Are you quite literally shaking in your boots? It's so ridiculous I'm embarrassed! They don't do anything. Oh, they taunt each other with "Go eat some cheese you Yoders" and "You ROTNEM's are Rotten", yeah, really hard core!

But then I get to thinking. Why do they need a gang? We probably only have a couple of thousand kids in this town and they have to have gangs? Is there really nothing to do in this town for kids if they aren't into sports? Not really.

We have the Lake - but it's only hot so much of the year. We have the Civic Center but apparently that is "gay". The local Police Dept (where I work) has a fishing program that is quite successful, but even then, that is only three or four days out of the Summer. (and it is the Police Dept which also puts some kids off - though I don't know why!

Luckily, my kids are going to England for a week or so soon, and that will keep them out of trouble - hopefully! (though Nick is threatening to come back with a tattoo!). But then what? I guess, just dilligent watching, and trying to keep them occupied without it turning into a big "Warriors" scenario you know?

But that day is looming. That day is coming quicker than I don't know what. I'm so looking forward to that day.

What day you ask?

The day they move out and have to take responsibility for themselves and I can just say "Well, I tried my best".

Does that make me a delinquent parent?