Memory or lack there-of

Some people say that I have the worst memory EVER, and they would be right. There are times when I quite simply have difficulty remembering my own name. Mind you, changing the name of my blog - you guys DID notice didn't you? - probably doesn't help. It's keeping things consistent that should be my main priority!

The other night I was sat watching the telly with Georgia, when Dan comes down the stairs and says "What?". Me, looking blankly back replies "What?" and he says "You shouted for me" and I'm all idignant with "No I didn't" Then Georgia chimes in with a "Yes you did!"

Am I losing my mind?

Have all the years of drinking taken their toll on my poor brain? I would agree, but for a few things.........

How come I can remember pointless crap? and by pointless crap I mean:

• I remember the very first telephone number my mom had (652837) even though it changed and was over 25 years ago.
  

• I remember the license plate on a crappy VW green Beetle that my dad had (SCA 998V).

• The boys name (Evan Young - How Welsh is THAT?) who sat next to me in class in primary/elementary when it was only one class a week and he left after a month.

• Who said what and when, when it was neither a remarkable nor humorous comment.

• Words to crappy songs from forever ago.

• How much two bottles of Lambrini and a taxi to town was.

Yet I can't remember birthdays of my nearest and dearest, the name of the first boy I slept with (I will say that is because it was so long ago not because there have been so many!!!), dates I have to work next month unless they are written down, telephone numbers of friends I call ALL the time, dates of things that are happening at school, my multiplication tables or how to do long division and don't even get me started on fractions. (But then again, did I ever really know them in the first place?)

So can someone please tell the memory gods out there that unless knowing the license plate for a vehicle from 20 odd years ago is going to have some significance in my life that that memory can now be banished and room be made for other more important stuff.

What about all the bad stuff that I have stored up there that could do with a quick "wave of a wand and Kaboom - they are gone?" I don't want anyone giving me any bollocks about how it is the bad stuff and memories that make your life what it is. I'm too old for that rubbish thank you very much! Hands up all the people that can honestly, truly and honestly say that given a choice they would rather keep their bad memories? The sadness, heartbreak, general crappy feelings and memories that hurt real deep in your heart. You wanna keep them? No, I didn't think so. Just give me good memories - and possibly the ability to re-learn my timestables!

So from now on, I'm only going to keep good memories stored in my noggin'. All those bad ones? Gone like the wind, floating around in the atmosphere like the kites in Mary Poppins.

Thats all I'm asking for! I think ;)

Mind you, could it be these that are making me so "not-all-there"? There must be something in the water coz these babies are growing! Ah!

The boobs, not the plants around me!