So I'm reading US Mag, not by choice more out of complete and utter boredom while temping, and I came across the double-page spread "Stars - they are just like us!" (That's a high happy exclamation mark that is supposed to impress upon you not only how light hearted the article is but how utterly life-transforming you will find it.) I also believe that the article is written by someone mentally incomplete - my new fave saying!
Anyway, imagine my complete surprise when reading the afore-mentioned article, that Gwyneth Paltrow actually buys burger buns.
Her own burger buns.
She buys them.
Herself.
At the store.
(I'll let you pick yourself up from the floor). Who would have thought? She is Sooooooo like us!
But it doesn't end there! Oh no.
Uma Thurman? Get this! She licks her own fingers! Imagine that! This lady is practically a gajillionaire, and could pay anyone to do it for her, but no. She's 'just like us'. She does it herself. Her own fingers!
She is so like me! I lick my own fingers all the time, and I don't think there isn't a time I haven't gone all 'Gwyneth' and bought some burger buns.
Apparently, Sarah Jessica Parker carries her own fruit. Now I KNOW she can afford a lowly minion to do this for her but no, she's one of us, she can carry her own strawberries!
I can honestly say that after my horrific day yesterday, the light at the end of the tunnel came to me. The angels sang, and all because I now know that stars? They are just like me.
So, in time honored tradition, you will find the following proof that I, Andrea, am "just like us."
Here I am, biting the end off a liquid paper all-purpose pen, pondering the meaning of life (or possibly why I didn't win WSBOTM award.)
Here I am driving my van (as god knows, why would I waste all my hard-earned spondooly being chauffeured around in a limo?)
Here you will see me getting changed for my fabulous second job (you only have one? well, get another as I clearly don't want to be lording all over you). Remember, this is "Andrea - She's just like us"
Here I am emptying the garbage. Someone has to do it and I don't mind ruining my very lovely manicure and getting to look roughed up and all bears-arse on you.
Here I am getting into bed. I actually make my own bed, and I actually tuck myself in. I could pay someone to do this but hey, this is me, "Andrea - she's just like us". Still managing to look glam don't you think? and with no team of make-up artists, hairdressers, fashionistas........
So there you have it folks. Hopefully, you will be able to sleep better today, for knowing.
I'd hate you to be mentally incomplete too.
*goes to get a life*...............................
and on another note. THIS is old news?
Monday, May 02, 2005
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