Friday, January 12, 2007

Nowt For You, Cheese and Poo!

Very rarely, does a product either actually look like it does on the packaging or act/taste/(insert verb here) like it should. I mean really. Even with the 'serving suggestion' written on the front of a microwave meal, have you ever had a piece of brocolli or carrot look as fresh as it does on the box?

Well. I shall never again doubt the power of packaging promotion. For a few years now, George and I have have promised ourselves that this year it shall be the one. The one year wherein we DO go to the furniture store and DO purchase a new bed. Oh, not just ANY old bed. No! One of the Tempur-Pedic Beds . However, every year, one thing deters us (read PRICE) and every year we regret not buying one. The bed we have now is only 5 years old but feels like we've had it for 105! Oh, I am so The Princess with The Pea I know! Whenever we have guests, the first thing they comment on is just how comfortable our bed is! They must have spines made from Brick is all I can say.

Anyway, all that changed last week. We finally relented (read CASHED IN KIDS COLLEGE FUNDS*) and purchased one of these alleged 'masterpiece of the bed world.....'.

There is a 120 day guarantee or something but they took our old bed away when they delivered 'The New One' (said with echoey voice for effect) so if we don't like 'The New One' what do we do? Do they just give us any old bed they have floating around? A 'Used One' even? *shudders* Oh well, we have 120 days to figure it out.

Now, the picture used in the advertising is this:

and I was all "Yeah right!!!" and when the matress was actually delivered it was hard as a rock. I mean HARD AS A ROCK! You could bounce pennies off it and have them stuck in the ceiling like shrapnel! I figured there was no way I was even going to be able to lay down without hurting myself! However, I gave it a go and I DID lay down on it and you know what? I almost needed a snorkel to breath! I SANK like a rock into the enveloping spongey goodness that is Tempurpedic! I could feel the matress slowly sucking me in, forming a welcoming "Come Hither" hand-like hug around me and I was asleep in what felt like seconds! REALLY! You know those dreams you get where you think you are falling? Try actually falling while dreaming that dream! FANTASTIC! I woke up and once I got myself out of the wedge that I had created, I watched as the matress puffed itself back up, back to rock-hardness that I had first laid down on. It was magic!

Well, for once, both George and I were all excited about going to bed (we had giggled profusely about what happens when we, er, do 'IT' and I am sunken and can't breath - funnily enough George didn't mention anything about stopping or calling 911!). We were like kids on Christmas Eve! I actually had a good nights sleep until the neighbors car alarm went off for a solid half hour. Apparently they TOO have one of these matresses and were sunk so deep it covered their ears!

So, overall. I give Tempurpedic Beds a whopping 10/10! You should get one!

I am going to Chicago today, leaving the bed to George. The whole bed. I am thinking by this time next week, 'The New One' will be named. I shall try and talk Michael into getting one. I mean, for future use......(this sooooo isn't going where I want it to!)

Oh, and the Poo in the title? Nothing to do with the bed. I recently caught up on a blog and the first line had me actually laughing my arse off and I almost fell off my chair. It was just a one-liner, and totally out of the ordinary, and I shall share it with you today!

"Do you remember when you were at primary school there was always one poor child, usually retarded, who always smelled of poo?"

There should be a competition, where you have to complete the post in three lines or less!

Anyway. I'll be back Monday with lots of riveting stories about Chicago...... my home away from home......

*like they were ever going anyway! I can always sell my soul to the devil should one of them ever change their minds!

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