Friday, April 21, 2006

What do Cinderella, Hansel & Gretel, Snow White and I have in common?

Stepmothers. Wicked ones at that.

However, I am NOT White as Snow, my fire is bare of Cinders and I'd be homeless, having eaten the Gingerbread House by now.

I am, dear readers, THE wicked stepmother.

Ha! Imagine that!! Little old me. I never imagined - not that many girls do - that when I got married it would be to someone who already had kids from a previous marriage. But, having raised three of my own for a long time, when it came to getting married (finally) to George and his having two kids already, I never really thought about the minefield I was entering! I mean, how hard can it be? If you have three kids already what difference does another two make?

Ha! *shakes head at how naive she was*

One thing I have tried to do, when G's kids come a-visiting, is to instill in all 5 of our childrens minds, that they all will be treated alike. No special treats because two of them only visit every other weekend (and holidays). It isn't fair to any of them. I don't want one to feel more 'loved' than another. We love them all equally. We have his kids on a regular basis, take them on vacations, have them alternate holidays, take them out for dinner on days we aren't scheduled to have them, just to see them, in short, we spend alot of time with them.

Yet, even with all this love and attention thrown at them in bucketloads, I am still treated as the Wicked Stepmother. After 7 years, 7 looooong years of being a step-mother, it is the worst thing I have ever endured. Truly. But I'm made of strong stuff. I'll totally get over it. I laugh in the face of all that is stepmother-ish and evil. I know it isn't my fault!

I know that most of the problems lay with other individuals, not solely the kids. Take into consideration that not only were the children younger than mine (2 & 5 at the time), but they also had a mother who ........... and I'll be polite here ......... didn't like the fact that I was even alive never mind to be entrusted with the care of her kids at anytime. Yes. I was evil incarnate, the very devil himself. I could not be trusted, I was a whore, I was incapable of raising children, I was just 'not right'. All this from one meeting!

The relationship I have with their mother is classic text book "Old wife/New-sexy-wife" :)

However, I have taken the high road on many occasions. I have tried the "Even though we hate each other, let's get over it for the sake of the kids" approach, the "Let's negotiate" approach, the "You are a complete psycho bitch, but I'll listen to what you have to say" approach but we are at in impasse, a situation that is so difficult that no progress can be made, at a deadlock/stalemate, whatever you want to call it, we are there!

and who is hurting from all this? The kids and the relationship they could have with this side of the family if they tried.

Like I said earlier, how hard can it be? Oh god, do you have an hour or ten?

Do I see an end in sight to all these problems? Nope. Do I see it getting worse before it get's better? Yup.

But I am a good person. A good mother. I'll get through it. I just wanted to let you know that right now, this is what's going on in my world!

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