Oops, I did it again!

What do these things have in common?

• Jam and Bread.
• Beaches and Sunsets.
• Christmas and Santa.
• Mash and Gravy.
• Love and Laughter.

I'll tell you what! They all fit perfectly and work well with each other.

Wanna know what doesn't go well together?

• Beer and Computers.
• Wine and cell phones.

Yes. I did it again! Drank and let my fingers do the walking. What can I say except "Bollocks!"

How come, on cars you can get a breathalyser unit installed that you have to blow into before you can drive, but not on computers before you use them?

The people who invented computers apparently thought "Fuck it! Think of the fun and mayhem and trouble that could be caused if we just leave it up to the user to decide whether they are sober enough"

Well, I have one thing to say to those people! "SCREW YOU!"

I would like nothing more than to blow! Into a breathalyser thing I mean........ Then I wouldn't have to face the wrath of friends, co-workers, people I have barely met once the day after the drinking! Luckily, I haven't sent any death threats, nasty e-mails, horrid texts or such, but what I have done is rambled, raved and just plain embarrassed myself. Like sending romantic/sexy text messages only to fall asleep before I can even read the reply*, you know, good ones like that! The thing is, as I'm doing it, I am telling myself "Girlfriend, you KNOW you ain't supposed to be doing this!" but then, the drunk person that I am, I manage to allay my fears and talk myself out of stopping with excuses so totally spectacular that I should be a politician!

Sending messages like:

"I am durnk. and can't wai till we meeeeet you tomorrowe, tqalk more when we saee ytou

asndsi" (like how the spelling of my name that I have managed to spell correctly for 36 years goes to shit?)

or:

"I ahve drunk a ufkl boittleof Pinot Grosio (kIm lies tat s hit)"

The thing is, the way I set up my hotmail account, my sent messages don't get saved so I have no clue what I've sent, just that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I sent SOMETHING! Have you been on the receiving end of one of my e-mails? If so, please let me know!

I know some people will say that when you are drunk, you are generally telling the truth, and that that is how you feel right then and there, so I guess I'm just being honest and truthful and having a good time! I'm generally a shy person (No I am!!!!!!) so if getting drunk and telling the world how I feel is the way to go, then I guess it's the way to go.

Now, where did I put my glass?

*Yes, it was to my husband!