Thursday, January 06, 2005

I did it. I lost my mind.

So I went grocery shopping today, my once a week trip. I was half way there and realised I had left my cell phone at home. I almost crashed my van. I started hyperventilating almost, thinking of the what ifs:

"What if a tire goes flat - what do I do?"
"What if I have an accident - what do I do?"
"What if something happens at home and the kids try to call me - what do I do?"

You have to understand. I NEVER go anywhere without my cell phone. ANYWHERE. I knew that when I returned home, there would be no missed calls and I also knew that I wouldn't get a flat tire, into an accident or have one child missing a limb when I got home, but that did not stop my worrying. I think I did my shopping in the quickest time ever! Which takes me to the next reason why I know I have lost my mind.

I get to the store, get my cart and start to walk in when all of a sudden some old Mexican guy starts shouting at me, shaking his fist, chasing after me with a limp that resembled a Weeble Wobble.


As I a) didn't understand him b) was getting kinda scared, I obviously quickened my step. This only made him more outraged, and he got nearer and nearer. He got to me and started to drag the cart off me and I did an Olympic Medal worthy Tug-O-War. People at this point were starting to look and it wasn't a pretty sight! Me a Gringo fighting off some old hombre for a cart. Then his little old wife came up behind him and pointed to the cart. Yep, you guessed it, this little old limping muchacho had left his walking cane in the cart and there I was, about to walk off with the only thing that was keeping him straight like a spirit level. He dragged it out and huffed (with a Mexican accent no less) and stormed off. I have to say it was very embarrassing. Especially as people were staring at me as I did all my grocery shopping! Pointing at me, pretending to limp! Yeah, real funny.........

I was glad to get home where, yep, you guessed it, I had missed 4 calls, had two flat tires and my eldest had lost an eye..............

But one thing did make me laugh today......

Go check out It isn't what you think! and I wasn't going there for what you think either!


Dot Bar said...

Okay, you've got my sympathies! What do people think, anyways??? That you are making off with the ol' gaffer's cane? To what, sell it on ebay and make your fortune?

I had to laugh at "penisland"! good one!

Anonymous said...

I can't even trust you to go grocery shopping on your own now I've left!! It wouldn't have suprised me if you had got home and one of the kids had lost an eye.