Saturday, July 15, 2006

When Did I Become A Crabby Old Bitch?

Lately, I - and others - have noticed that not only has my patience level taken an almighty dump into the sea that is 'no-more', but I have become snarky, bitchy, mean and bad-tempered about anything or ANYONE that isn't within my radius of pleasure.

I know! Hard to believe isn't it?

These feelings have slowly but surely crept up on me and today, they knocked me on the head with a 2 by 4 and shouted "Oy, get a grip!!!"

One example of my rude behaviour? I was at my local pharmacy buying yet more cards, when the salesgirl started reading them. She actually started reading the cards I was about to buy. Does she not work in the very store that these cards have bee shelved in for the past few weeks or whatever the shelf life is for cards these days? (not long if I'm the customer but whatever.....) I swear, I felt violated! As she's reading them to herself - with her lips moving silently which tells you all you need to know and more - she is not only slowing the line down as 'fast-reader' she isn't, but then she laughs at me and is all "Oh that's funny, who are you sending them to?"

Inside I was screaming obscenities at her that would make Howard Stern blush, but outwardly I seethed and through gritted teeth politely replied "a friend". WTF??? Go get your own cards you bitch and read them all to yourself at your own convenience! Not mine!

All this over some cards!

So you can imagine that if something as simple as card-reading-dumbasses upsets and aggravates me, other things will just make me implode.

In fact, I have been one big pile of imploded Andrea lately and it isn't a very pretty sight.

Actually, let's just ignore the crabby and mean part of my new 'persona' and concentrate on simply the 'old' part of me.

At what point did I turn into a 108 year old hag? Last night, George and I went out with some friends (and Claire - who, by my typing her name in brackets or parenthesis as the U.S. calls them - don't even get me started on that whole debacle, must not seem like a friend. She is. But she's also family so there)

Anyway. We were all out having a few drinks, sharing a laugh, admiring some 'skanky feminines' that frequent our fair city, and by 11:00 pm (YES! 11:00 PM) I was ready for bed. In fact, I wasn't just ready for bed, I could her the bed calling my name!

"Andreaaaaaaaaaah, come hither" was the cry, only in dulcet tones and with a decidedly very BRITISH accent.

What happened to the old me that could party like it's 1999? That could wake you up before you go-go? That get the picture. I seem to have aged 50 years in about 3 and I'm not happy about it. Not happy at all. I used to be so much fun, yet here I am, (at work - typing this) sat in my granny-like cardi and soft soled shoes. Did you hear me?


WTF?? Next thing you know I'll be needing one of those Hover Rounds, you know the ones, As Seen On TV!

So, for the next couple of days, I am going to try and repair myself. Try and regain the patience I brought over with me from England. Try and gain some humanity, humility and tolerance of stupid, stupid people while possibly wearing a pair of Doc Martens, red patent leather ones at that. Now, if that doesn't sort me right out, I don't know what will!

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