Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Ho Hummmmmm

*Takes a deep breath*

Sometimes I wonder where I've gone wrong. With my sons that is. I've already sent one to New Zealand, I don't want to have to send another! But try as we might, as parents, they seem to only have one goal in life.

"Make the demise of our parents come quicker and may it be painful"

Parents of teenagers all over will sympathize with me, parents of pre-teens? Run for the hills!

During my tenure as an owner of a teenager, I have tried the following:
  • Pleading
  • Begging
  • Shouting
  • Compromising
  • Screaming
  • Bribing
  • Hitting
  • Dealing
  • Crying
  • Ignoring
  • Counseling
and yet apparently not one of these 'ings' have worked. Reading books doesn't help because as you know, NO teenager is the same as the other. Oh they may dress the same and act the same but they all have their own individual hidden agendas - I kid you not!

I am just perplexed. #2 son showed so much promise earlier. He is intelligent, good looking, charming, friendly to people, polite, funny. He has career goals of joining the Marines yet seems to want to just throw it all away for stupid friends and reasons. I just want to keep him locked up in the house so the world outside can't ruin him any further.

He thinks he has the worst life ever. When I think about it, I guess he does. He has clean clothes, food, a warm clean house, computer, cell phone, vacation to New Zealand booked, freedom, minimal chores, loving parents and siblings. Oh the injustice of it all.

This isn't good enough. He apparently wants more. He wants to have no curfew, be able to shout and be disrespectful to teachers and us, be lazy around the house etc., You name it, if it is against the law, our rules or just plain outrageous, he wants to do it!

His friends have better lives he says (they don't - they have trashy parents, trashy houses and trashy lives) so, when he decided to run away, I wasn't exactly blocking the door.

By now you are all probably saying "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?"

With his teenage thinking however, his running away extends to a friends house within a one mile radius of our house. He is so close I can almost smell his sweaty teenage socks.

Am I concerned? Not in the slightest. I want him to see how bad it is away from home. See how great this 'life' he wants is.

Before the first night was over he called. "Don't you guys want me home yet?" We told him that aside from all the apologizing he has to do, he has serious thinking to do. He decided to stay out.

The next day, he passed our house on the street, walking with all his idiot friends, rubbing his running away in our faces - (friends he knows he isn't supposed to hang out with), and called again. I wasn't ready to speak to him. He said he would call me this morning, around 10. It is now 11:35. He hasn't called yet. Surprise? No.

So that is where we are. He is 15. I have about 3 years left before he is offically allowed to do what he wants, when he wants, wherever he wants.

3 looooooooong years.

Long, long years.

So go ahead, comment and call me the worst parent in the world. A child wrecker. If I can take the teenage years, I can take a few mad comments!

When he's 18? The party I throw won't be for him. It'll be for me. A "Happy You Made It" party. Want an invite?

Daniel Knapp


3:18 pm. He's home. After a looooooong discussion wherein I listed the new rules and regulations he has to adhere to, he accepted them (begrudgingly) and is home. For how long is anyone's guess.

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