Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Could you give a rat's arse WHAT it does so long as you sleep?

Over the past couple of days here in the U.S., there has been quite a lot of bitching about a sleeping pill - Ambien.

There is talk of people midnight snacking in their sleep, driving, having sex etc., all while they sleep. (and complaining about it too - if you can imagine such a thing)

Well, let me tell you about my experience with this 'wonder drug' and then I'll tell you what I think about this all.

When I first came to this country, I was having difficulty sleeping. Not falling asleep, but staying asleep. I'd wake up at such-and-such an hour, be wide awake for three hours then go to sleep for ten minutes then be awake for another two hours. As you can imagine, this was wreaking havoc on my daytime life - watching TV and such........

So I toddled off to my Dr's and mentioned my dilemma. He suggested I take this pill called Ambien. His exact words were "It's very mild, NASA astronauts use it and you should be right as rain" Now, I don't like taking pills (hence 3 kids!!!!) but they were small and looked harmless so I thought I would give it a go.

George was home from work, and it was about 6pm and as any kind of sleeping pill I had taken in the past usually took about three hours to work, I thought it was a good a time as any to take one.

I took ONE.

It kicked my arse!

Within 5 minutes I was literally slurring my words, all the while in my head, I was thinking I was talking coherently. I was seeing double, couldn't coordinate my hands or feet or anything - my bladder being about the only thing I COULD control. So after about 10 minutes - George realises that I am quite possibly drugged. (notice how it took him 10 minutes!)

As I was clear headed - yes, you can hear and comprehend things, I remember George asking me what was wrong and I responded with "hjklhf fjdshfn wwofdhsjfk njdkhsfh". Obviously I wanted to go to bed!!!! So he helped me off the sofa and pointed my body in the direction of the bedroom door. I proceeded to walk headsmack into the wall, turn around as I had forgotten my intention and sat back down. He couldn't believe that one small pill (and it IS small) could have this effect and was certain that I had spent the entire afternoon knecking Jack Daniels/Vodka any kind of liquor! - me?!!!

So this time, he holds my elbow like he was leading a blind lady to a bring and buy sale, gets me to the foot of the bed, and promptly touches my back and I fell over like a domino! Then he left me.

FIVE hours later, he comes to bed and lo and behold I am in exactly the same position he left me in! I had not moved a muscle!

Anyway, the next morning I woke up feeling like I had had the BESTEST sleep ever. Complete memory loss of the entire night but feeling great. I was refreshed, rejuvenated, and just as lively as a lamb! I didn't have to take the pill every night, just every other night, they weren't addictive but VERY helpful.

As I mentioned George didn't believe that one small pill could have this effect, so the next night, he asked me if he could take one (Not that we were violating any kind of medical ethics here or anything!!!!!!!! *hides from the medical police*). He took one and I told him, "you need to make records of how you feel as the night goes on - just as proof for yourself the next morning".

His recorded entries were as follows...............

  • 19:05 pm - feel fine, nothing happening, Andi is full of shit.
  • 19:26 pm - still feeling nothing - need to take another one.
  • *takes another*
  • 19:32 pm - andjkskia jjxi jfisjfkl shit
  • 6278435 - jldfj jkfdls bu,mxvn
  • _________________ * flatlines*

Just kidding. He was unbelievable. His entries looked like this for the next two hours:


At one point he was standing on the front porch, naked as jaybird, "just stretching" as he likes to say.

Of course, the next morning, he had no memory of this ever happening, yet once he saw the above EKG-alike, he was stunned.

Now then, you may be saying "so Andrea, what do YOU think of this Ambien malarkey?"

Well I'll tell you. This IS a very strong pill. Looking at my experiences from just taking one, I can't see how anyone could even physically get INTO a car, put the keys IN and drive, or how someone could GET UP out of bed and go eat. I mean, if you could get up, the memory loss you suffer would mean you couldn't remember WHAT you were getting up for!

The memory loss IS severe - not of the whole day but just the time from when you took the pill.

This is definately a pill you should only take once you are ready for bed and only then. Of course people are all different and what I can't take, you probably could but by God, you would have to be as strong (and as big) as a horse to be able to do anything once you've taken this pill.

Anyway. Thats what I think. It's ace.

*******added as an afterthought.......... you shouldn't mix it with alcohol (unless you REALLY want some fun!! :)

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