Tuesday, June 21, 2005

What Makes Me Who I Am?

As I was partaking my daily walk this morning, I was thinking about things, and you know what thought I had?

I am happy.

I am happy with my life.

Then I thought, "Well, what IS it that makes me happy with my life?" and here, for you fine people, are the answers!

My Family!

Coming from England but living here in the U.S, I really don't see my family much which, sometimes may be a blessing, but lately, it isn't. I miss them. My brothers, pictured here both currently live in 'the New Zealand area'.

David and Richard

Tricky (30) on the left, Dave (34) on the right

My mum is coming to see me but still, I don't see her as often as I want to. My Aunts and Uncles and cousins who, I have now gotten a lot closer to, I miss! But I love them all each in their own way - everyone has an odd uncle or a crazy aunt!!!!!!

To my family - which ever ones read this? I miss you and I love you!

My Friends

Sometimes I feel all lonely, but then I remember All the friends I have. I have a bajillion. So many they could be categorized!

  • I have my Blogging buddies! I kid you not, there are times when I am just about to fall asleep and I think of something funny that someone said and I crack up! I think of what someone may be going through and I feel for them. I hear something and think "Oh, I have to tell....." or "OMG......" or " I soooooooooo have blog about that with ........." I can be in a very sad, depressed, shitty mood, and then I'll think of a comment someone posted a month ago which was hilarious and it brings a smile to my face, cheering me up for that smidgeon of a moment. So to all my blogging buddies out there, even if you visit once a blue moon, thank you, for all that you do, say and think. It really means alot to me.
  • I have my old friends from England. I don't seem to be as close to these friends as I want to be, possibly on both our sides. Sometimes I go over for a visit and just expect them to drop everything for me and that may seem rude. But then I think, "You only get to see me once a year - if that - for two days, and you can't adjust your life for two days? Were we not best friends before I left?" Sometimes I feel like an inconvenience but I get over it. I realize that best friends are not meant to be best friends forever. But I have a bunch of them. I have old school friends I have kept in touch with, drinking friends, work friends etc., They are all there. So to all my English friends, I miss you guys and though I may not call you every day, I THINK of you every day.
  • and then I have my U.S friends. You are all so totally different from each other it is funny! and I love you all the same! There are friends I have met through George, through other friends, through work (and I have had plenty of jobs so believe me, there are plenty of those). You guys have NO idea how much you have meant to me. Coming from England and leaving everything, was weird. Scary. But you made it so much easier. Even if I only e-mail you, or we meet for lunch or dinner, or parties or whatever, please know that every time we meet, I appreciate every second. Without you, I would be just some lonely English bint. Thank you.
My past

Yep, even though there is more of my past that I would rather forget than remember, I wouldn't be who I am if I had not had the trials and tribulations I have. Some time ago, I wrote about how I met George, and I gave details of two past relationships; my kids dad, and some pre-George ex. Now back in England alot was made of the ex mentioning, and people were "I can't believe you slagged him off like that". Well, I didn't 'slag' him off. I told the truth. If a pretty picture wasn't painted, don't blame the artist, blame the subject! My 'babies' daddy?" Well, he was there thats all there is to say. But if I hadn't had my heart broken, I wouldn't be who I am today. If I hadn't been fired from a job, if I hadn't gone on vacation with a certain someone, if I hadn't drunk as much that night, if I hadn't answered that ad, if, if, if.... So my past, as varied as it was? It made me who I am and it put me where I am, so for my past? I am grateful.


God I love music. Any kind (well, not too much McFly but.........). I can listen to any song and it relates to some point in my life. Music can cheer me up, make me sad, remind me of something etc., Listen, I do my daily walks and listen to my iPod and it kills me that I can't sing out loud! The neighbours would die! I want to bang like I'm drumming, strum like I'm strumming, hum like....... you get the picture. So, music makes me who I am. If that makes me odd, then it makes me odd.

and there you have it folks. Those things make me the happy person I am.

Here is a slideshow in case you are interested, of a lot of happy smiling people who mean alot to me!

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