Sunday, February 13, 2005

Wanna know why I hate the mall? Well, I'll give you two good reasons!

OK. So we go into the very crowded mall, (stupid us, the time we choose to go is first of all a Saturday, and secondly, around 2 pm when EVERYONE in the world is shopping!)

Anyway, we visited I'd say 15-20 stores and every time we left the store, the security alarm would go off. We would tell the sales assistant that as we hadn't bought anything, it couldn't be us (true), and they were like "Oh, thats OK then, just ignore it!". Huh! A shoplifters dream! No checking of our bags, nothing! It turns out that the security tag in the computer game we had bought my daughter hadn't been removed and that is what it was! Not that the stupid assed sales girls knew anyway! They just could care less! So the alarm going off in every store pissed me off.

Secondly, we were about to enter JC Penneys, and you should have seen the fiasco that was going on outside of that store! There were I'd say 5 or 6 mall 'security guards' if thats what you want to call them, all hiding behind the plants and crap that you find at malls all talking on their walkie talkies....

(as a side note, who in their right minds, would employ a 4'8" man-dget, who weighs about 95 lbs soaking wet to be a security guard. Oh, and for that matter, a 6' sumo wrestler-build guy who couldn't run after snot in his nose, never mind a shoplifter? tell me, who?)

(Mission Impossible music should be playing in the background to give you an idea of the stealth these guards were emitting!)

Anyway, there they all were hiding, S.A.S like, behind plants, armed with walkie talkies and ready to catch a 12 yeard old shoplifting. It was a sight to behold. We went inside, did our shopping, and upon our exit, they were STILL there! So my daughter and I stood and watched for a while. We were far more conspicuous! It became obvious after a while that something had gone awry in they capture plans, as after a minute or so, they all dispersed and headed in every direction but the same! It was like watching the Keystone Cops! It transpires that they were all watching the wrong exit! The big guard was waddling like a duck trying to walk/run, the small guy was being knocked over by grannies with shopping baskets, kids who were sitting in strollers, people just standing around. It was painful to watch! and the thief got away like a fox in the night!

So while my family was setting off every security alarm in the mall, 6 guards couldn't catch a cold never mind a shoplifter!

There, two reasons why the mall is a pain in the arse! I have many more reasons but two should be enough don't you think?

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