Monday, January 17, 2005

Andrea's guide to the perfect cup of tea.

Now, we all have something in life that if it isn't done properly, then just leave it the hell alone. Don't bother attempting it, trying to masquerade it as something else, just GO AWAY and leave me to do it (which half the time was the intent I guess).

Anyway, my "thing" in life is a cup of tea. There is only one way to make a cup of tea, and believe me when I tell you, I can tell if it isn't made the way it should be. So for all you lost souls out there that feel something is missing from your life and that something is how to make a perfect cup of tea, worry no more. Here is your guidance.....

Tea guide for the lone person drinking tea.
  1. Put 'kettle on.
  2. Get cup and place tea-bag in cup (preferably Tetleys but PG Tips will do).
  3. When kettle boils, fill cup (but leave about a quarter inch for milk to be added later).
  4. Stir water and tea-bag until the right color is attained (see color example below).
  5. Squeeze tea-bag and throw away.
  6. Add milk until right color is attained (again, see color example below).
  7. Add exactly one and a half sugars, no more - no less.
  8. Stir.
  9. Drink.

Tea how it should be

Tea guide for one or more persons drinking tea.
  1. Put 'kettle on.
  2. Place two tea-bags into tea-pot.*
  3. Get two+ cups out (depending on how many there are drinking).
  4. When kettle boils, fill aforementioned teapot and stir.
  5. Put tea cozy on tea-pot and let stew for approx. 3 minutes.
  6. Fill cups with tea leaving about a quarter inch for milk to be added.
  7. Add milk.
  8. Add sugar (depending on taste).
  9. Stir.
  10. Drink.
new teapot

Rules that should be adhered to (when making a cup of tea for Andrea)
  • Under NO circumstances should either milk or sugar be added when tea-bag is still in cup.
  • Under NO circumstances should tea-bag be left IN cup once finished tea making. (this feels rather like a dead mouse gently brushing against your lip and is not a feeling you want to have happen - EVER).
  • NEVER as a joke, put more than exactly one and a half sugars in my cup.
  • NEVER as a joke, put salt in my cup.
That my friends, is how to make a perfect cup of tea. Hopefully your life will now feel complete. If not, go sit somewhere, have a cup of tea, contemplate what you think IS missing and holla back at me.

Tomorrow's guide - How to fold a towel perfectly so that it doesn't look dishevelled in your closet.

*Yes, Ms Mac, that is my new tea-pot and cups.....


Ms Mac said...

Thankyou for your advice re tea making.
Could I suggest though that if one is making tea for a person who does not take milk, one should never stir the non-milk tea with a spoon which has first stirred a milky tea. Like you, I can tell exctly how a black tea has been made just from the taste. Just in case we ever get to have a cuppa together!

Your's in tea solidarity!
ms. mac

ps- love, love, LOVE the new teapot!

Ms Mac said...

Sorry, I meant to ask if we could have a lesson on how to fold fitted sheets so that they don't look like a bag of rags sitting on your linen shelf!

Pam said...

Thank you for your post! I've always wanted to try tea the 'English' way. :-) Having lived in the southern US all my life..only way we get tea is sweet and iced! I got out my kettle and followed your directions..mine looks just like yours. I used Earl Grey tea. Thanks again for sharing! I look forward to visiting again!

ella m. said...

I am a slave to orange mandarin tea with honey and lemon (no milk) myself. ALL tea should come from a proper teakettle, none of that boiling water in the microwave or stove I'm with you on that :D

Sarah said...

I have been told many a time that my tea and coffee making skills are far from perfect probably because I dont drink the stuff lol I will try it your way and see what reaction I get. I make a mean hot chocolate though xxx

Katya said...

Hi...thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting...

i've never really thought much about whether I sound british or not...but I suppose I must...

and as you are writing about tea so do you...i'm not much of a tea (or coffee drinker) but I can't make it for others to save my life...i've never made tea in our office in the seven years i've been here...

feel free to link me...maybe i'll get another

Brodick Blog said...

As a Brit, I wouldn't disagree with most of what you say, but I would suggest that you upgrade to a better quality tea (Twinnings would be good if it is available there) and possible Darjeeling as a variety. For a really good cup of tea, try making it with loose leaf tea, a bit more trouble but well worth the effort. Also do try to drink it without sugar. You may find it strange at first, but once aquired you will never want sugar again. Good for your waistline as well.
have a look at

Ms Mac said...

Re Brodick's post. I absolutely agree that you should try without sugar and then take it one step further and try without milk. Someone once told me that black sugarless tea is a Scottish thing- haven't done much research on that but I do know that my English friends (who were brought up in England) all think I'm revolting for drinking black tea. On the other hand, I find Tesco's or Asda's home brand tea perfectly acceptable for everyday and savour a cup of Twinings on rare occassions.

Andi said...

Look at all these comments!

When I was younger my nanna used to make tea with leaves and every now and then a stray one would find its way into my cup and yeuch.....

Sometimes I can drink tea without sugar but more often than not, I have to have sugar.......

Pam said...

Ahh.. but we do have Twinnings it!