How can I EVER face him again?

OK. I got the obligatory monthly phone call from my dentist asking if I would like to schedule my cleaning (that has now been overdue for- oh, 6 months or so). Conversation went as follows:

Me: Hello (Phone says blocked call so I should have known not to answer)

Dentist Receptionist: Ms Knapp, would you like to schedule your OVERDUE cleaning? (overdue actually said in bold if you can imagine)

Me: Not right now.

D.R.: OK. We'll call back later.

Me: Thaaaanks.

D.R. Your welcome (As she puts the phone down, I hear giggling)

Now I know some of you may be thinking, "Well you are English and you English don't look after your teeth and they will be all yellow etc.," Well, I DO look after my teeth, they AREN'T yellow I just don't like dentists. I think it all stems from having a filling years ago and I could feel the dentist drilling away and he wouldn't stop even though I told him I could feel it.

So I hate going to dentists. For me to actually GO see my dentist, I have to be in extreme pain, and extreme pain is what I was feeling a few months back. So I made an appointment with the dentist (who happens to be a very good looking dentist - not that that has ANY relevance, and that not being the reason I got all dressed up for my appointment.). First of all, they sat me down and had an assistant look me over. I told her EXACTLY what the problem was and told her in no uncertain terms "Do NOT go near my back molar with any kind of metal instrument".

Apparently, she took this to mean, "Please probe away and cause as much pain in the process as you can!" So with a metal crochet hook type appliance, she went directly to the aforementioned tooth. It felt like she had shoved an electric rod right down my throat. I jumped right out of the chair and was crying like a baby. She just looked at me dumbfounded. She got me to sit back down and promised me she would stay away from the entire left side of my mouth, with me still sobbing away. Remember, I'm 34!

Then the dentist came, took some x-rays and told me he would call me back later with the details. So I went home, got changed into my house cleaning ensemble (sweatpants, old t-shirt I paint in, sans bra). You may wonder why I am telling you this, well, all will become apparent later good friends.

Now, my daughter came home from school, and had an appointment also at the dentist, so I jumped into my van, not changing outfit as I was merely going to drop her off and go run some errands while she was in there. However, when we got to the dentist, she starts getting upset saying she wants me there, so I had to go in with her. They called her in, and I sat in the waiting area. After a few minutes, I heard this god awful bloodcurdling scream that as any mother recognizes, is from her own offspring. So I rushed in like any dutiful mom would, and my daughter was crying away. They had tried to give her a shot but it was hurting. So, I did what any mother would do. I held her hand, soothing her, all the while, trying not to look at what they were doing. Remember, I hate dentists! After a minute or so of her squeezing my hand and almost cutting off the circulation, I get this funny feeling. I start to see black and white stars jumping around the place. I start to feel hot and sweaty. Then cold and clammy. Then tingly all over. So I tell my duaghter, "I'm still here, I'm just going to stand by the wind.........."

And that was that.

Yep, I had passed out cold. On the floor of the dentists room. With my hysterical daughter almost having a heart attack, screaming.......

The next thing I remember, I was lying on the floor, in my old dirty sweatpants, old stained t-shirt up around my neck, my boobies hanging and flopping out, just looking at the very hot dentist thinking "Well, that's that then". The poor young dentist didn't know where to put his hands as he was trying to lift me up! They gave me some oxygen, and left me alone to wallow in my embarrassment for a few minutes.

He came back to see me and suggested that next time, maybe my husband should bring my daughter. He also told me that I need work done on my tooth and that as my reaction had clearly shown him I wasn't psychologically stable, that maybe I should consider complete anaesthesia. I just wanted to get out of there.

So gentle readers, to answer my question in the title......that is why I don't go to my dentist.

Comments:-

At 8:38 AM, Anonymous said...

I have the same reaction to shots or removal of blood! Sorry about the tooth. I'm about to embark on a 10,000 pain in my butt dental treatment / surgery ACK!!
Fidget
http://oviedochickens.blogspot.com

At 8:58 AM, Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving me my first laugh of the day! I could so picture it in my mind!

Michelle

At 9:49 AM, Katya said...

i hate dentists too...I haven't been for over a year and my husband hasn't been in 15 months...I finally got round to making an appointment when i was told I would be stuck off the list...

I'm not too bad as long as I don't have to have any work done...but they changed the dentist and I hate change which is why i've been putting it off...i go in a couple of weeks...i am already dreading it...

At 8:26 PM, Lisa said...

Ok...I HAD to post this...I read this story, hilarious by the way...and then I went on to look at the photos from your trip...here were the advertisements right under your photos...

Painless, Periodontics
Dr Tilt, nationwide leader in Laser Therapy using Nd:YAG laser

Cosmetic Dentist - NY NJ
restorative dentists in New York & New Jersey dental implant & veneers

Ads by Google


TOO funny :) :)

~Lisa


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