Friday, November 12, 2004


So when you think about your life, do you ever think about how things could be different with the choices made? I mean, if you or your parents had made one decision instead of another, do you think about where you would be now, what you would be doing?

Something as simple as your name perhaps. When I was born, my parents named me Andrea. Apparently, this wasn’t their first choice, I was almost a Donna. Now you wouldn’t think this would make such a difference, if any. But what about the small things like when you are at school? As you know, teachers sometimes choose you to do something based on your name and go in alphabetical order. Prime example - What about when it was time to do the maypole dance. I may have been chosen to play the fly as Andrea but what if I was to be a spider as Donna? What about when it came time to practice? As Andrea I may have been sat next to Andrew West later to go out with him and my life was set in one direction, but as Donna I would have been sat next to Alan Gilbert and later going out with him thus offsetting the direction of my life…… Is this making sense?

Right now, I could be in Seacroft with 8 kids, waiting for my boyfriend to get out of jail, living off the government not doing anything with my life. But I made a choice to do something and that choice MUST have been the right one because I’m where I am right now and I’m happy.

Of all decisions made, I remember one that is quite a defining moment in my life. One time that I think now, if I had made a different choice I would never have been happy. I had just picked up the keys to my first apartment and had gone there with my dad to see how much decorating etc., it needed. My boyfriend at that time was with us, and as my dad and I were talking about what to do, my boyfriend was also discussing about how we could do things and what we could do. Did you pick up the WE? I remember standing there thinking “This is MY apartment, not yours” but I didn’t say anything. Life just went on as normal, we moved in, got engaged, had kids, split up and Bobs your uncle, here I am. If I had said something back then, I know I would not be here today in America and I wouldn’t have had my kids and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

I know people say your life is what you make of it, but if you don’t have much guidance or opportunity given, you really don’t get to do that much. I know that while my kids will make choices – good and bad – I will always make sure that the opportunities that are out there – are given to them.

Talking of what your life was like when you were younger, have you ever been in a conversation with people about when they were younger? It’s always about “We were so poor etc.,” I look back on my life and I know we were poor. If you wash your hair with washing up liquid and dry it over the over door which is open a smidge and get a bath every Sunday teatime in the same water as your brothers etc., you definitely aren’t up there with the rich folk! (I know my mom will probably have a comment about this!!!) But being poor makes you appreciate things more. I know that now, if I won a million dollars, I wouldn’t be going to Chanel to start buying suits etc., I’d still go to Fashion Bug or Target or Khols….. I’d be the BEST millionaire.

But hey, enough about my life…. Think about yours and how things could be different with choices made – hopefully this will help you make better choices and more well thought out choices……… Feel free to comment below or on my guestbook and let me know what you think!


Anonymous said...

It upsets me that you think I didn't give you any guidance when you were young.
Also I encouraged you at evey point when an opportunity came up that was to be good for you.
I always thought I had done my best for you

Anonymous said...

What if I hadn't worked at Duradyne, and quit. I might have never met Chris. And what if Kristina hadn't left us 3 years ago, I don't think we would have built a house to take our minds off of the pain.